IFS (Internal Family Systems)

Good question! Have you ever seen Inside Out? This has typically been someone’s first exposure to IFS. This movie creatively brings this idea to life with the emotions each expressing their own ideas about what they should do to keep them safe and meet their needs. 

If you have not seen Inside Out, I am sure that you have said, “There is a part of me that wants to go, but there is also a part of me that wants to stay home.” Hearing from these “parts” and what needs they are trying to get met by sharing is the first step to understanding IFS. 

A critical understanding in IFS is to acknowledge that each of these parts has good intentions and believes it knows how to protect us best. Meeting these parts with curiosity and empathy can begin a journey of self-exploration and acceptance, you never thought possible. 

IFS takes a radically different approach to counseling than CBT or other cognitive theories. Instead of forcing your thoughts down a road they feel is unhelpful, IFS fosters the curiosity to understand what might be helpful about that thought/feeling/behavior. 

This is especially helpful for those who struggle with shame. While CBT is extremely helpful for many people, it can increase a sense of shame in those who are prone to it. You cannot shame, shame, and expect it to go away. Think about a child who has done something “wrong”. If this child is met with shame for this wrongdoing, anger usually comes up to protect the child. If the child is met with compassion and correction, regret and behavior change is often the response. This is similar to how our emotions respond when they are either told to “go away” or are met with compassion and understanding. 

IFS is an evidence-based treatment and was added to the National Registry of Evidence-based Programs and Practices in 2015. 

• The IFS Institute is a wonderful place to start!
• Check my blog posts for more in-depth information about IFS
• You can also check out my recommendations for books about this subject.